What strategies help confront the sense of entitlement some family members feel regarding their employment versus their actual contribution or ownership stake?

Question

Tyler Smith · Accepted Answer

The sense of entitlement some family members exhibit regarding their employment, often disproportionate to their actual contribution or ownership stake, is a pervasive 'polite fiction' in many family businesses, as explored in 'The book I'M F.I.N.E. (& other lies).' This entitlement can manifest as expecting positions without qualifications, higher pay than market rates, or immunity from performance standards, all under the guise of 'family.' This inevitably breeds resentment among non-family employees and often among other family members who feel unjustly burdened.

Confronting this requires a commitment to professionalism and transparency. First, clearly delineate the difference between family membership, ownership, and employment. Each carries distinct rights and responsibilities. Employment should always be based on merit and performance, irrespective of family ties. Implementing a rigorous HR policy that mimics non-family corporate structures is essential: clear job descriptions, regular performance reviews with measurable KPIs, and compensation packages benchmarked against external market rates. The EOS Accountability Chart, for example, provides a visual representation of roles and responsibilities, emphasizing that 'every seat has a boss,' regardless of who occupies it. Second, the family should establish an employment policy for family members, often decided and overseen by the Family Council, which might include requirements for external work experience or specific educational qualifications before joining the business. This depersonalizes the expectations. Third, address historical 'polite lies' about family jobs versus true merit. This often requires open, difficult conversations, sometimes facilitated by external advisors, who can help the family face the 'brutal facts' about individual contributions versus expectations. Ignoring this entitlement only perpetuates the dysfunction and leads to quiet fractures, as productive family members and non-family talent look for healthier environments.